A Festivus Miracle

Pain Train, Roanoke, VA

Conditions: 28 deg. F, clear

PAX: Double Humpee, Dunphy, Freddie Mac, Piney, Pipeline, Puffs

Q: Pipeline

It was a lucky day: Monday, Dec. 13. The day F3 Roanoke would celebrate Festivus, with numerous Festivus Poles, Feats of Strength, and the Airing of several Grievances. Six PAX gathered up coupons and headed for parking deck on a brisk late fall morning. We dropped our weight, climbed the stairs to 6 and back down, picked up the coupons again, and repeated the stair climb on the other end of the deck. More warmups ensued on the corner of Jefferson and Reserve, and then it was on to The Thang.

The Thang: The Feats of Strength and Airing of Grievances. One lucky PAX put on YHC’s 30# ruck and was laden with nearly 100 pounds of cinderblocks. His task was to walk from one Festivus lightPole to the next while the PAX performed a stationary exercise and a travel. After he reached the next Festivus Pole and the PAX joined him, he was allowed to Air one Grievance. Rinse and repeat. The Grievances were mostly complaints about roads: I-73, the bike lanes on Brandon, the frequent repaving of Avenham, and other old man concerns. YHC expressed frustration that Cat Scratch was not present for the one workout a year that clearly is a perfect match for his personality.

This went on until 6:10, at which time the group headed back to the cars and had time for a quick round of planks and 10-counts for Mary.

Recover. Recover. Announcements and a true Ball of Man. DH took us away.

An honor and a privilege. Happy Festivus!