I signed up to Q a Swift Donkey when I was moderately healthy….then I torn a hammie….
I referred to the F3 Roanoke By Laws….there was nothing about requiring the Thursday workout to be a run. Sure it usually is a run. Sure the runners show up for it. It may be an unwritten understanding…but there is no rule that it must be….so I crafted a non-running workout to surprise the runners.
I also had still been working on finding some tunes that Cat Scratch enjoys (besides Ted Nugent, of course). I tired the Beastie Boys…nope. I tried Biz Markie and Digital Underground…nope. Radiohead….nope. Rage Against the Machine….nope. Aerosmith and Guns’n Roses…..nope. The Police…nope. DJ Khaled….nope. Moby….nope. Even the Divinyls were a negative (although Pipeline sure gets excited about that one).
So I was running out of ideas. Then my parents took my son to the new “Yesterday” movie and he fell in love with the Beatles. They have been blasting in my house for days….and I thought…of course…WHO DOESN’T LIKE THE BEATLES!!!!
So its Beatles Thursday!!
So I selected just 7 Beatles songs (mostly 2 minute ones, except Hey Jude…which is 7 minutes). And I threw in 6 “rest” songs that weren’t Beatles but that Cat Scratch might tolerate (Jethro Tull, ZZ Top, Bob Marley and the Wailers, Bob Seger, Bad Company). And of course we will warm up to Ted Nugent to keep Cat Scratch smiling.
During the Beatles songs we do Burpees. For e.v.e.r.y. Beatles song. For the entire song. During the others we do rotations of 2 exercises (e.g. 10 merkins and 20 LBCs, 20 squats and 10 heels to heaven, 20 dying cockroaches and 10 partner merkins, etc). (After previewing to my wife, she asks why people show up….I tell her how Pipeline has brainwashed everyone with Goggins…she doesn’t get it. I tell her she is weak. Hopefully she will talk to me again in a few days)
So I pull up at 5:25 and there are already some folks waiting. Even an FNG shows up. 11 PAX for Sweet Dinky (Pipeline, Chaps, CatScratch, Bounty, SeaBiscuit, Herschel, Legz, HC3, Buubs, FNG – Hot Wheels, Pinky)
I leave the gloves at the car (unfair since no one else has them…thinking its a run).
I ask Pipeline to warm them up by running around a single block. (HC3 complains that there is a hill in the block — I mean you just can’t make some people happy). That was their chance to escape and they didn’t. I was actually as little surprised when they returned.
When they return I get the music ready. Buubs is miffed that we aren’t running. He takes off in protest (perhaps thinking he is staging a mutiny and others will follow….no one follows). 10 PAX remain in place for 45 minutes. Lots of burpees were done (7 Beatles songs worth). There was an additional Beatles song specifically picked for Gloria (a.k.a. Dunphy) (Rocky Raccoon) but he fartsacked…so we replaced it with a better Beatles song.
At the end Bulbs returned. We were surely sweatier than him. Hot Wheels last words as we part — I hate burpees. Us too brother, us too. I’m not entirely sure if this one will return.
Cat Scratch was dead silent for the entire workout. I imagine he was just soaking in the good tunes, happy that I finally found his musical sweet spot.
This is Buubs. I am at a swim meet with JV. Time has ceased to advance. And the above requires something of a response.
In the course of human history, our predecessors often used oral summation to pass along societal norms, important events, and even rules or requirements. They did this for much of the last 50,000 years. In much the same vein, F3 has existed for the better part of 3 years with very little in the way of written orthodoxy, Slack notwithstanding.
Given that Dunphy and I started the Swift Donkey AO, approximately one year ago, I will provide some apparently necessary written context regarding both the origin and rules of the road. Swift Donkey began because Roanoke F3 lacks a run heavy workout. Another motivation was that the Blue Ridge Relay was around the corner and I needed to run more. I tried to name it Donkey Punch, but Dunphy won. As with the run heavy workouts across other portions of this great land, Swift Donkey’s rules are quite simple: 1. Workouts will be running in nature instead of the boot camps that otherwise occupy our mornings; 2. They will last 45 minutes. 3. The PAX will get in about 4 miles, give or take. This is not sacrosanct. 4. Mixing in other exercises is certainly fine, as long as rules 1-3 are not forgotten.
Now we all know. And knowing is half the battle. Welcome to Swift Donkey. We look forward to running with you.
I still love you, Pinky.