Pain Train, Roanoke, VA
Conditions: 36 deg. F, light wind, mostly cloudy
PAX: Bundy, Cat Scratch, Double Humpee, Pipeline. Oh and Freddie Mac.
Q: Pipeline
Pipeline promised no running and no burpees AND THAT’S WHAT HE DELIVERED I DON’T CARE WHAT CAT CRAP SAYS.
The PAX walked across the street to the parking deck, doing forward and reverse arm circles, Jack Webbs and overhead claps. Then they socially-distanced walked up the stairs to the top at floor six.
The warmup commenced, and then we all noticed that Cat Scratch got a faraway look in his eyes. As if in a trance, he slowly walked to the wall at the edge of the parking deck.
Pipeline began to form the words, “Just let him jump” in his throat.
But suddenly Cat Scratch called out, “We’re up here!”
It was like that scene in the Empire Strikes Back, when Luke is hanging off the bottom of Cloud City from a TV antenna, one hand missing, and he calls out to Princess Leia through the Force. She makes Lando turn the Millennium Falcon around and go get her brother.
Somehow, Cat Scratch had sensed Freddie Mac’s presence. Turns out, Freddie had driven to F3 Greensboro instead of Reserve Ave. But here he was, and Cat Scratch was guiding him home.
Freddie arrived on the roof and the workout continued. After the warmup, Pipeline announced we’d be doing BOMBS, but with the PAX taking turns as timer until we’d all gone, and then we’d change exercises.
But…no burpees.
So, exercise one was boxcutters. Then, overhead claps. After trashing our arms on bear crawls and crab walks as the travels and about a million OHCs, we skipped merkins and went right to big boys and squats. So, BOBS.
The final travel was a traveling burpee, which Pipeline argued was not a burpee, but more of a standing broad jump with an inchworm and a merkin thrown in. It may have “burpee” in the name, but a duck-billed platypus is not a duck. Think about that.
Also, Bundy hit a parked pickup truck while roller blading. Not his fault. Glad he’s okay and back working out.
All that done, we WALKED back down the stairs, held the COT, and then several PAX complained that the workout didn’t finish right at their cars.
Tomorrow is another day.