Pain Train, Roanoke, VA
Conditions: 34 deg. F, misty
PAX: Bundy, Cat Scratch, Dairy Queen, Double Humpee, Dunphy, Frack, Legz, Pipeline
Q: Pipeline
In 49 BC, “Orange” Julius Caesar, who led the league in steals in the 51-50 BC season, crossed the Rubicon River into Italy, knowing that he was fixin’ to cause a fight in Rome. But he exclaimed, “Alea iacta est” (“This workout sucks”) and did it anyway. We recreated this epic moment in world history by crossing the Roa-bicon multiple times. And wearing togas.
Dairy Queen forgot that his wife had just given birth and he posted. Or, he needed a break from screaming and diapers, so he posted. Either way, good work.
We warmed up in the Reserve lot next to Old Glory. Frack realized that while he was wearing pants, he was not wearing gloves. After the warmup, we yogged to the pedestrian bridge over the river, where YHC gave some detailed instructions involving dice:
A PAX rolls one die to determine an exercise.
1: Big Boys (or a core exercise)
2. Burpees (style of your choice)
3. Merkins (style of your choice)
4. Squats (style of your choice)
5. PAX’s choice
6. Q’s choice
Then the PAX rolled two dice to determine the reps. 2-6, the quantity was triple the number rolled. 7-12, the quantity was doubled.
Then the Q picked a travel. We crossed the bridge over the frigid Roa-bicon and perfomed the exercise. Rinse and repeat.
The first travel was the bear crawl, and as soon as Frack’s hands hit the wet cement, he went back to Dunphy’s truck for gloves. We did burpees.
There was a whole bunch of stuff in the middle from about 5:40 to 6:10, mostly complaining and lots of dice tossing. It was pointed out that Caesar only crossed the Rubicon once, but Pipeline countered that argument by saying we were originally going to do this on the low water bridge, which was underwater, so shut up already. It all ended with 22 burpees and then 10 monkey humpers next to the flag.
Recover. Recover.
Congrats to Dairy Queen , who is the proud father of a new baby boy, Roan, as previously mentioned. Also congrats to Rupp, who is the father to new addition Lorelei. Keep Rick James in your TAP while he vaccinates people in Arizona.
Count-o-rama (still eight), Name-o-rama, and Pipeline took us away.
An honor and a privilege!