In Search of the Jimmy

Pain Train, Roanoke, VA

72 deg. F, 200% humidity

PAX: Cat Scratch, Double Humpee, Frack, Herschel, JV, Zebra

Q: JV (not Frizzle)

A Marathon. Mensa. The Mile High Club. The Jimmy.

Since the dawn of time, man has dreamed, or dreamt, if you hail from the U.K. In prehistoric times, survival and not being slaughtered were the modest, but critically important, goals. Today, mankind strives to make a critical medical discovery, yearns to check off the seemingly unattainable bucket list item, or works tirelessly to solve one of life’s intractable problems.

Today’s workout lacked such ambition but, dare I say, was equally important. We were in pursuit of the Jimmy.

Warmup: Cat Scratch, channeling Seabiscuit, led us on a blazing jog to the newly-opened Riverside North parking lot. After catching our breath, we went through SSHs, IWs, FACs, RACs, Marco Rubios, and WMHs.

The Thang: Scavenger Hunt rules explained. Each Pax took turns leading us on a slow yog until they made an interesting discovery (i.e., trash or discarded item). Each item would be voted, by the Pax, into one of 5 categories with an associated exercise. The Pax would then vote on the significance of the “find/discovery” -Basic (low reps), Mid-Level- (med reps) or The Mack- (mad reps). Finally, the Pax (round) leader does 1/2 the reps.

The categories:/exercises:

1. Personal Hygiene (Burpee)

2. Food & Drink (‘Merkins)

3. Recreation (Big Bois)

4. Lifestyle (Squats)

5. Transportation (Mountain Climbers)

Herschel led us off and immediately found a cigarette butt which was voted a basic Lifestyle find, so we did 20 squats (Herschel- 10). And so it went. We jogged a big loop making discoveries as we went- down Reserve Avenue, crossed Jefferson towards RMH, through the parking garage, across the River, and along the greenway. Finds included a coffee cup, an airplane liquor bottle, snack containers, and the like, then we went to the Ramada.

For anyone who has ever considered staying at the Ramada, or put up family there, do not. For a scavenger hunt, however, Ramada is a 5-Star! I have already found what will certainly be my week’s biggest regret- not going to the Ramada immediately. The Ramada finds were infinite and considerably more interesting, if not marginally dangerous, than the earlier hunt. The Ramada bonanza concluded with the simultaneous discovery of a smallish mammal carcass (or corpse?) and a hypodermic needle. With 10 more minutes, we would likely find multiple jimmies of all varieties and presentation. The Jimmy was out there, but, sadly, we were out of time.

We rolled back to the end of Edinburgh and circled up.

Name-O-rama, announcements and COT. Cat Scratch took us away.

An honor to be among these great men in search of such worthy life goals.